• Andrew Gunderman

Why you should always be 100% confident in you and who you are.

Y'know, it always confused me when people talked about being "authentic", or just being "you". I don't know about you, but I've certainly had my moments of doing something, and then later on realizing that "hey, maybe I actually shouldn't have done that."

But that's completely normal. With humans always saying and doing different things all the time, how do we really determine who we actually are? For me, I've learned that there are going to be a lot of times where you do or say something that you later go back on. As I said, it's completely normal, but I think it's important to take some time to think about the person you want to be, and how you want people to see you. Then do your best to stay true to that. For me, I want to be seen as someone who's a successful technology entrepreneur, who inspires others, who is kind and caring, who is extraordinarily confident, who loves family above all else, and someone that makes others feel like they can step outside of society's bounds as well. I don't ever want to be seen as someone who's "too busy" to spend time with a friend. 

Once you've drawn out the person you want to be the next step is to take action on that. Implement all of those ideals and beliefs in your daily life and how you treat people. I want to be seen as kind and caring, and someone who loves family above all else, so no matter how much time I waste I still ensure that I build in time to spend with family, and am as kind to everyone as I can be. That's how I stay true to myself. For you, it may be different, but it's up to you to decide that.

NEVER. And I mean NEVER let anyone else label you as something, or tell you how you should present yourself. This is a nail I've been hammering incredibly hard on in podcasts recently. 

I've heard a lot of people say that "being able to change up your language and actions depending on the people you're with is such a skill", and while I agree, yes, that's a great skill I really believe you shouldn't implement it. 

Hear me out.

Why would you change up who you are to make someone else like you? I always say this: people are so caught up in fearing rejection that they change themselves to please others. This includes changing your goals, motivations, dreams, words, actions, etc etc. All to please someone else. 

If you cuss, cuss in the job interview. If you crack jokes, crack jokes in the job interview. If you're romantic, be romantic in your relationship. If you don't like showing too much affection, don't do it in your relationship.

Stay true to you. So often we change ourselves because we want other people to support whatever we're doing. I hate this. Especially with how supported it is in society today. Look, you're not as special or different as you think you are. As different as you think you might be I guarantee that there is someone else out there that's just like you. In fact, there are millions of people that're out there just like you. That's why you should be true to you. Wouldn't you rather weed out people who aren't like you anyway? Personally, I'd much rather spend 10 years alone than spend 10 years dating the wrong person. I'd rather spend a year jobless than spend a year with a company doing something I hate with people I can't stand. Stay true to you. No matter what you believe. Over time you will attract your crowd. There is such a thing as not being a fit. This is why companies reject job candidates. You just aren't a good fit for their culture. This isn't a bad thing. It helps you find the company that's right for you. Learn to love rejection for this reason.

Y'know, I deal a lot in the technical recruiting space with Vyra and True Talent, and from just being a college student. There was this tech company (I'm going to refrain from using their name) that had extremely high retention rates for their software engineers. I did some research on them and found that they created a hiring process that took an extensive amount of effort on the candidate side of things. This created a process that weeded out candidates who weren't super set on joining their company in particular, who would've been candidates that would've left after only a year or two. As a result, their work culture was fantastic and retention rates were through the roof.

This just goes to show: don't change yourself to please others. Act true to you and your values and you'll naturally attract others like you. This goes for social media too. 1,000 loyal followers who engage with your content is better than 10,000 followers who don't care about you or engage with your content. Never change you to please others. And as I said earlier: be confident. Those who are confident as well will be attracted to you, but those who are insecure will be intimidated by you. By being true to you you'll weed out people you wouldn't want among your crowd anyway.

--Andrew Gunderman

Listen to my podcast at redcircle.com/the-mindset-effect

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